WaNnA ChIlL DuDe

As the name suggests "Wanna Chill Dude",you will be finding here jokes which would give you a break from your daily routine.You can also write your own joke at this page.Do specify your name also.

Ques.:What does an 'elf' learn in school???

Wife:I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband:You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

Civil Servant:I am unable to sleep.
Doctor:Can't you sleep at night???
Civil Servant:I sleep very well at night.I find it difficult to sleep at noon.

Sam:I married my wife for her looks.
Tom:I too married mine for her looks… but not the ones she's been giving me lately.

Jinny:It's a nightmare to drive at 2:05 A.M.
Jinny:Sometimes you can't see the Woods for the trees.

A lion might not betray his wife.But a Tiger would

Simmi:Are you coming for my 18th birthday party???
Shanky:No,I went for that five years ago.

Ques:Why is Christmas just like a day in office???
Ans:You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Judge:What were you caught doing???
Thief:My early Christmas shopping.
Judge:How early???
Thief:Before the shop opened.

Ques:Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays???
Ans:At a ho-ho-tel!

Ques:Why does Santa owe everything to the elves???
Ans:For,he is an elf-made man.

Ques:When shouldn't a mountain climber call for help???
Ans:When he's hanging by his teeth!

Wife musing:
Men who treat women helpless and charming play things deserve women who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts.

Three reasons why it's good to be a man:
Your ass is never a job intrw factor.One mood,all the time.If you're 34,single,nobody notices.

Why are Egyptian children always confused???
'Coz after death their daddy becomes the mummy….

Ques:How do men exercise on the beach???
Ans:By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

Woman:Why aren't you married yet???
Man:I already have enough laundry to do.

Ques:When do you care for a man's company???
Ans:When he owns it…

Wife:When you proposed to me,I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour.
Husband:Yes,honey,that was the happiest hour of my life.

Employer:We have an opening for people like you.
Applicant:Oh,great!What is it?
Employer:It's called the door!

An airline introduced a half rate fare for wives who went with their husbands on business trips and sent letters to wives asking about that trip.They're getting letters asking WHAT TRIP?

Life is all about ASS:We're either covering it,laughing it off,kicking it,kissing it,busting it,trying to get a piece of it,or behaving like one.

What's common between men and a Christmas tree?
The balls are just for decoration.

John: What will you give a man who has everything?
Lydia: Encouragement.

Q:What would the compromise between Tiger Woods and his wife be?
A:Tiger Wood but his wife would not.

Wife: Look, a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I prepared.
Husband: Whom should I call now, the police or an ambulance?

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it…
I wonder she got annoyed when I said,"Implants".

One blonde to another:"I've done a pregnancy test."
The other blonde:"And were the questions difficult?"

Husband:Should we change positions tonight?
Wife:Why not?Tonight, you can stand by the ironing board and I'll lay on the couch and watch T.V.

Man:Can I speak to the burglar who broke into my house, when I was away?
Policeman:You will get a chance in the court.
Man: I want to know how he managed to enter without waking my wife up.

Q:What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
A:Telling you his real name.

Wife: Why can't my mother stay with us?
Husband: For the Bible says I can't allow this.
Wife: Show me.
Husband: Right here, see.No man can serve two masters.

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